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Hot Tennis Players
Hot Tennis Players The US Open is in my backyard, metaphorically at least. There’s fantastic, fabulous play to be watched, to be sure, but watching the Qualifying last week underscored one thing: you...
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Miley Who?
Miley who? Can we have a complicated reaction to her? Can Miley Cyrus’s behavior at the VMAs be: Offensive? Annoying? Tasteless? Tacky? Classless? Can it be: Rock and roll? The work of a...
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When you want to bang the coach…
Liz Taylor was on Johnny Carson during his last months on the air in 1992, and he asked about the age difference between her and her then-husband, construction worker Larry Fortensky. She corrected...
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Ring of Shit
The weight of my ring was the first thing I noticed about being married. It ought not to feel so heavy, and yet the constant cleaving of skin and metal on my left hand has been—more so than the sun...
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The First 50 Days
I’d like to report on the first 8 weeks of my marriage like there’s some Cuban Missile Crisis to narrate and historicize, but there are no missile crises here. There’s domesticity. I’ve been talking...
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Questions About Double-Clicking My Mouse
So, do married people double-click their mouses? (Mice?) I ask reverently, since I am finding in the first weeks of marriage some dichotomy about the permissibility—some friends say no, some say yes,...
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The Good DILFs
This is going to feel like a Sex and the City knockoff, and I apologize, because there is nothing worse, spoken as a Manhattanite, than dealing with throngs of women trapped in 1999 roaming the West...
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My Girl Crush
It happens. I do get crushes on girls from time to time. Often, my tastes reflect my father’s, somehow, though I am not conscious I am doing this. My dad, bless him, wherever he may be, adored the...
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Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls
dedicated to the letters A, B, D, and M My only bleedin’ hope Is for the folk who can’t cope With such an endurin’ pain That it keeps ‘em in the pourin’ rain Who’s to blame For tootin’ ‘caine into your...
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Why Pride Still Matters, 2015 Edition
The struggle is real. Because, even in places as “enlightened as New York,” LGB and T people are being harassed entirely and totally for their choice to live truthfully; we didn’t choose to be who we...
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